Today I realized that I'm not happy. I'm not owning my own life. I'm living carefully. Not wanting to piss anybody off, and conforming to what other people want from me. Example, I love my mom. But I'm 34 yrs old. I have to stop being concerned about what she wants or thinks. I have a trip to Vegas tentatively scheduled for January. I asked my best friend to go with me because I assume that my mom wouldn't want me to go alone, so I asked him. (Assumptions can often be wrong) I love the guy, but I don't want him to go. I often allow people to step over me, in conversations. Even though they have my best interests at heart. I want to travel. England, Romania, Scotland, Greece etc. But I'm allowing others to "step on me" and not allow me to go. To do the things that I want to do. I'm an adult. And I will keep on saying that until it gets through, to everyone.
At home I feel "stepped on" as well. Not often, but it's noticeable. Don't think for one second that I don't know. I know a lot more than you think. I'm not happy. I want to be happy. I deserve to be happy.
I want to be happy.
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